I appeared to be just another greedy ex-politician, out for a buck. But for Muslim terrorists? Involved in “terror funding”? This was absurd!

“Siljander is in hiding,” Wolf Blitzer told CNN’s viewers. Sure, I was “hiding” alright... in my own house! Other commentators were less kind.

Larry King called and wanted an interview, and my family, now crying, begged me to go on the show to set the record straight. So I agreed. I had nothing to hide. Of course I should defend myself. After all, I was being outrageously accused of conspiracy with Muslims linked to terror funding and accused of putting our troops in harm’s way. I had no intention of sitting out the fight. That is, until my attorneys called.

Ed Meese, the former U.S. Attorney General and chairman of my pro bono legal team, said on behalf of this world-class team working for free, “If you speak to anyone about this, we can no longer help you. This interview or any other with the press will place you in serious peril.”

I was in a quandary. If I didn’t defend myself, the whole world would think I was supporting terrorism. If I did defend myself, I would lose my legal team -- friends in whom I trusted….and whose help I desperately needed.

Somehow even with non-stop calls, my friend, Dennis Moore, a pastor in Indiana got through to me.

“You must stop and worship God,” he insisted. “Don’t take another call. Close your drapes and worship the LORD.”

“I can’t worship God right now,” I told him. “I feel overwhelmed and abandoned by God!”

Dennis repeated, “I’m telling you, there is nothing more important than worshiping the Lord right now. If you don’t feel it, don’t worry. Just fake it till you make it.”

I went into the bedroom, sat down and began to praise God. I didn’t mean it, at first. Feeling nauseous, and in a cold sweat, I surely did not feel like singing God’s praises. I had begged God for months; asking for “this cup to pass from me.” Now it was happening and it tasted worse than we had feared. As far as I felt, God didn’t seem to care.

But I forced myself worship YHWH. I didn’t ask for anything. I just started offering thanks and praise...and I kept it up...laboring to do so painfully. Then all of a sudden a strange thing happened. All the windows were shut, and yet I felt a gentle breeze in the room. As the soft movement of air brushed against my cheek, suddenly the praise turned real.

The somewhat sarcastic words I had been saying before became sincere. I felt infused with the love of God in my heart, and it was like a warm healing process for my soul. I came downstairs an hour later. My wife, intently staring at me said, “Your face has an odd...almost bright glow and a sense of peace surrounds you!”